Ridiculous ramblings, really

I woke up this morning, with these three massive bruises on my shoulder that really puzzled me - I spent the night on my sofa, reading. But then I remembered that my car had broken down yesterday and having a fifteen year old Ford Escort Estate's frame poking your shoulder while pushing the car in a position where it doesn't block any other cars probably *would* cause some bruising.
I'm now convinced I'm going to bang that shoulder all the time when going climbing tomorrow. Not that I usually do, but with those bruises already there it's just one of those things that are going to happen.
Carrying the tripod and camera on tonight's trip to take pictures of London by night (sometimes there are fun things on Groupon) is probably also going to be fun.
My life would be so boring without my regular random injury.

Because my life was getting too boring anyway - I'm such a born paper pusher that it sometimes scares me - I decided to add some chaos by moving.
My justification went something like this: Well, the flat I'm in is supposed to be torn down later this year anyway and I'm not actually allowed to have pets. I'm fed up with hiding Tiny every time they have an inspection!
So I mailed an inquiry about a flat I liked, went to see it, had them talk the landlord into accepting me having a cat and paid the deposit. All within less than 8 hours.
That really helped with the conviction that I'm too organized.

Anyway, not to worry kriski and dirtyzucchini the new flat is just across the road from the old one, so Hatfield house is still close.

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Mood: rambling

I try not to moan too much about work here - though I could easily fill in for Vets behaving badly my new favourite blog - but at some point in the future, there will be an entry devoted solely to moaning about the PDSA. Consider yourself warned.

For now I will just complain about the BBC airing every single show I might want to watch at a time when I'm neither at home nor at work but actively commuting between the two. They do it on purpose, I'm sure.
At least I don't have to fiddle with a proxy to use iplayer. Still haven't seen the latest Sherlock though. Because I ... just haven't tried watching it. Bad fan. Bad.

And I'm idly thinking about buying a new computer. Not that my Laptop-as-Desktop isn't working any more, it is just getting a bit old. And while I have the MBA, it just doesn't feel right as my main computer. Can't stand having my main machine running mostly OS X for one.
Hmm. Time to hit the bookmarks for the custom mini pc websites...

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Mood: gloomy - I hate day shifts

I just can't get over the surreality of my job sometimes.

I'm at work right now and we had a client call up, saying that their dog just collapsed next to them and they weren't sure if it was breathing any more. Sad story, but something that happens quite often with certain breeds.

Usually we'd have her bring the dog in as quickly as possible (house visits are not really feasible for anything but euthanasia for a number of reasons). Only problem in this case? She's on the local golf course - which is a proper, enormous 18 hole monster - at the 7th hole. And then she hung up on us. We didn't yet get a phone number to call her back.

So we just spend 10 minutes googling the golf course and calling their office (no answer), their shop (luckily someone answered, the next try would have been the bar) to figure out where the 7th hole is, so my nurse can drive up there and have a look around if there is any distressed woman, dead dog or anything else to be found.

You shouldn't have to make phone calls that start "I know this is going to sound crazy, but..." at work, I'm sure of it.

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Mood: awake

• Quite a lot of my daily watercooler talk goes on facebook these days. I seem to be one of the few people I know who don't mind that place overly much.
  What can I say, I don't have any expectations about privacy or decent behaviour from them and that serves me well.
  I also don't see any problem with writing down basically meaningless things. They are the kind of things I would tell my friends over a cup of coffee if I were still living in the same city/country/continent. And online they can actually ignore me when I bore them, something that isn't especially easy when I'm sitting right next to them.
• I've pretty much stopped watching any kind of TV series while it airs. I do marathons after a season finishes.
• I've also stopped reading WiPs. The AO3 and the 'complete only' checkbox are my happy place.
• I've been doing something similar to copperbadge's Adventur Programme for the last months.
  I've lived in Leipzig for over five years and haven't been to the Grassi museum. Same for Berlin and the Bauhaus museum and so many more. Which would be perfectly ok if museums just bored me, but I'm a huge museum geek (admittedly more for science, history, natural history, design and architecture than plain art, but that doesn't really limit it much). I'm determined not to let that happen for London.
  So yesterday I went to the Natural History museum - for the wildlife photography exhibition. And after I started wandering and ended up in the central hall. Which had amazing architecture, a dinosaur and Charles Darwin. I might have stood there flailing for a while.
• That was after I realised that they offer any of the exhibitions photographs of the last few years custom printed. No more loving a picture but knowing that it would not have made the cut to be made into a print.
  I love living in the future.
• Today: reading, climbing and still possibly cinema.

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Mood: exhausted

I hope everyone had a good start to the new year!

Mine was certainly busy - fun fact: when working at an out of hours/emergency place, chances are, any kind of public holidays will be mental - and today marks the first hours I haven't spent in scrubs or pyjamas since the 27th.

So once again I have lots of things I want to write about - most of which will end up as never posted drafts, I'm sure - and not really the time to do it.
Rest assured that I am reading my dwcircle every day and even check up on the four or five people I'm still following on LJ every few days.
I just continue to be the stereotypical lurker. And I would make a resolution to change that if I did resolutions.

And now, dye my hair and go to bed. Natural History museum tomorrow and possibly cinema in the afternoon. Mine is an exciting life.

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Mood: amused

Have I mentioned lately how much I love M? Silly hipster that he is, he makes me laugh like not many other people.
Just checked my bank account, he transferred the money he owed me for our camping trip in August.
The line for the purpose of the transaction?
naked cleaning, giant dildo, wet fun
Oh hell, boy. How do you even exist?

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Mood: pleased

So, in an attempt to kitten-proof my flat (as noticed by a lot of people on my last entry, he is extremely cute. I promise I'll try to limit the crazy cat-owner talk) I decided on a trip to Ikea to replace the Ivar shelf I've been using for everything computer related so far with something closed that would not provide such an exciting rope course made of cables.

Found a TV bench that looked ok on the website, checked availability at Ikea Tottenham/Edmonton got no errors so left home begrudgingly (I had just finished my 12 nights in a row that morning with a call and incoming patient at 04:15) at about 16:00 to drive there.

( Driving in London is a bad idea, I know, but reaching Ikea any other way is even worse )

And now to the important part: Why are they not offering onions, pickles or even mayonnaise for the Ikea hot-dogs in the UK? These are the things that make these hot-dogs great instead of the most boring kind of food ever!

This is seriously the bit that annoyed me most about the whole day. Get me stuck in traffic as long as you want, but I want pickles on my hot-dog for my troubles.

So, today I put the shelf together, put it in place and equipped with all the extension cords it needs. I guess the kitten will need to find some other way to try and kill itself now.
Also managed to get a haircut and generally just veg out in front of the computer otherwise. I definitely needed that day off.
And tomorrow it's off to a couple of museum stores to find some nice postcards, get some climbing in on the way home and in the evening, back to work. My life is so exciting.

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Mood: tired

• Number of animals I've killed last night: 4
  (Perhaps worth clarifying, that was what I set out to do. If they'd all died on me while I was trying to keep them alive, my mood would be much worse.)
• Number of animals on whose life I potentially improved in a meaningful way: 1
  (Oh, I treated a couple more, but if you're a 14 year old Lurcher, nothing I do will make much of a difference to you anyway.)
Sometimes work is not exactly uplifting.
Oh well.
• Number of nights I still have to work: 3
• Number of animals I might have adopted: 1

Have two pictures of Tiny, looking at him without being cheered up is not easy:

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location: Farnham, Surrey
Mood: hyper

I definitely suck at updating anymore. I partly blame my need to complain about stupid clients/PDSA clients/stupid PDSA clients/clients in general. I love my job but I hate people. Nothing new there I guess. But it gets boring after a couple of repetitions

I'm halfway through my insane 12 night shifts in a row. For which I have no one to blame but myself because M. would never put me on the rota for more than five in a row without me asking for it. And just because twelve 15h+ nights one after the other weren't enough, I decided to to do a couple of them not in my usual practice, but a place that is usually much more busy.
Madness, pure and simple.

Sleep deprivation makes me babble more than usual. So let's see if I can use that to update some more.

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location: Hatfield, Hertfordshire
Mood: giggling

I have pictures from Gibraltar I'd like to post, some rambling about my camera, some babbling about blisters (on blisters on blisters) and likely a lot more that I just can't remember right now.

But the one thing I have to post about, is how much my Roomba amuses me.
It does a little fanfare when it's finished cleaning! It gets stuck in silly places and calls for help!
I've had the thing less than 24h but I can already tell I'm going to regard it as a pretty dumb but slightly useful pet.

I'm so easily amused.

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Mood: awake

I'll just have to write an entry about a bit of what's going on at the moment now - however incomplete it will be - because otherwise I'm most likely never ever going to post again. And we don't want that, right?
I *am* religiously reading my DW and LJ reading pages every day, I'm just not talking. Something I'm saying in every entry I manage to force out, I know.

Not touching on a lot of things I've done since February (Really? How is time passing this quickly?), but since the /-Treffen (Which was also more than a month ago? Argh!) I've done a couple of working marathons - six nights of work, one day off, repeat - because I'm a crazy person and like my job a lot, even if I'm constantly complaining.
And after that I started my crazy month of June.

Wow, that was ... wordy. And rambling. Business as usual I guess.

July is looking to be fairly quiet in comparison. Only a hen party (Why this obsession with weddings, Brits? I don't get it!), some random hiking in the New Forrest and that's it. Until I start to get bright ideas again.
But since I've just ordered a Roomba (I shouldn't look at Groupons. But in my defense, I need a new hoover anyway and the reduced price is pretty much what I would pay for a mid range Dyson too. And it's not even that much more than the ubiquitous Henry) one of my bright ideas will probably be to watch the floor being cleaned. And I'm ok with that.

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Mood: cheerful

Of course I'll not notice the bit of Cornflake that dropped into my coffee until I'm trying to drink the last bit of it in one go. I might stop harking like a cat coughing up a hairball soon, but I give no guarantees.

And now that the mental plug of that last entry is gone (I do that all the time, mentally working on an entry and then not being able to post about anything else because my brain is still working on that other thing.) I can go back to more regular brainless blathering.

Recently, while watching all of The West Wing, my DVD player (it's quite old and temperamental -that's why the media centre/streaming pc is an actual plan instead of a geeky fancy) absolutely refused to play one episode, so I got out the CDs with the .avis kriski gave me years ago.
I know I watched nearly the whole series of those then, but *how* is a mystery to me. The difference in quality is amazing.
Now I feel the need to go and search for some Star Trek TOS that should still be around here somewhere on video tapes. Just to appreciate the improvement from then.

I also had a look at the WW fanfic. Looking back at a fandom years after it closed is always interesting to me and seeing some of the stories with the knowledge of later seasons is quite funny. Doesn't make the good ones bad though.
*goes back to haunting archives*

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I *could* be doing the online cpd thing I've been doing the last few days, but as this weeks topic is very internal medicine based I just don't care enough.
So, time for a rambling 'What's going on in my life' post.

As I said, this is more bragging about how good my life is than anything else, I'm aware of that. But I needed something to do and all this has been bouncing around in my head taking up space for a while now.

comments on the original post. See http://ridicully.dreamwidth.org/252622.html to comment.

So, LJ had the writer's block prompt of "What's the origin of your username? If you could change it to anything else, would you, and what would it be?" and since I'm falling back into the habit of not posting, I'll try to answer that one.

I've had this username since the very first time I had to create an account online. 1998 or thereabouts. GMX had this social forum/chat thing called GiMiX and when I wanted to register I tried ever Discworld related name I could imagine. Most were already in use. Until I found this one. Only to later realize that this was because the guy in the books is actually called Ridcully.

But I liked the name. It serves as a reminder how ridiculous I can be. And since its a misspelling, it was mostly available in every new place I wanted to create an account. So it stuck.
And I'm sticking to it. By now it is the online *me*.

I wouldn't change the name for anything. I do have a couple of accounts under the name of alex_t, mostly things that might be connected with my real name since I've tried my best to not make Ridicully come up on any searches for my real name, but that's the extend of it.
Ridicully I shall stay.

And now I'll hit post before I think of something else that needs to be included in this entry. And something else. And something else. And then not post at all because it's such a mess.

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Mood: relaxed

Reflecting over the past decade would take too long for this entry. Those were *busy* ten years.
Now I'll eat the last of the mince pies and maybe knit some more. (I've started knitting because motorcycle repairs in <0° temperatures just aren't fun. Oh hell I've got *hobbies*...) comments on the original post. See http://ridicully.dreamwidth.org/251705.html to comment.

location: Not at work!
Mood: amused

One of sister2's presents to me was an Adipose stress toy.
Not only is it cute:

But I'm also incapable of not poking it at least once every ten minutes.

I don't even usually *do* stress toys...

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location: Hatfield, UK
Mood: mellow

I sort of realised today that if I don't write something here, updates won't magically appear. So I'd better start on this posting thing again.

Right. I hope everyone had a nice couple of days, celebrated whatever holiday you do and wasn't too bothered by the weather.

( Have a rambling braindump about my days )

Anyway, I have an enormous pile of filing/to-do/deal-with stuff on my desk and want to get a start on that before I leave for work, so I'll stop here as not to exhaust my newfound posting energy on the first entry.
Hope everyone enjoys the quiet time before the new year starts up.

P.S. Amazon UK has amazing offers on DVD boxed sets at the moment. They are evil, but all three seasons of Star Trek TOS for less than 40£ is hard to beat...

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I really like living here, but the way life just shuts down because of a bit of snow is driving me insane.
Especially since I was in northern Finland just last week where snow is just something that happens and then you deal with it sensibly.
No, 10 (or even 15) cm of snow do not equal "being snowed in". And I say that as someone who very cleverly left her winter tires in Germany when I brought the car over here.

*grumblemumblegrumble*

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location: Rayleigh, Essex, UK
Mood: calm

Yesterday, my nurse asked me if I'd seen the new Merlin. Umm. Yes, you could say that. Saw, squeed, laughed... take your pick.
But it's kind of disconcerting to have work and fandom mix like that out of the blue. Is laughing like mad about the "little bottom" comment something you can admit among non-fangirls?

Otherwise, I'm still running circles in my own mind. Leaves me feeling restless.
My parents visiting didn't help. Neither did my uncle dying on the first day they were here.
Since the priest was on holiday the funeral was today, which made it impossible for me to attend. This also didn't help.

Amazingly enough, Mindbloom is actually helping me getting some things done and some kind of order into my thousand projects.
For example , I'm slowly working through my Photos. I'm also working on my CPD certificate, my personal fitness plan, and lots of other things.
I seem to be missing a proper, all-encompassing aim at the moment. This might explain the restlessness. Hmm.

Anyway. In an attempt to make coherent entries again, I might do the '30 days all about me in excruciating detail' meme.
We'll see.

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location: Rayleigh, Essex, UK
Mood: crazy

Brain-To-Textprocessor interface now, please!
Because, I have at least three more or less written entries. I just don't manage to transcribe them.

I've just come back from Brands Hatch where my father is working this weekend and have one more night to work before it's my week off again. This wouldn't be bad if I had slept at least a couple of the days this week. Which I haven't. So, once again I'm running on what little sleep I got in the nights and stubbornness. Always fun.

Next week my parents will visit me. Which would be no problem if Ikea and I had managed to arrange a delivery time before now. As it is, my big Sofabed won't be delivered until my parents are gone. Which means I have to get out the camping bed again. Joy.

For my own reference, some of the things I want to write about, in no particular order:
Job, motorcycle, good intentions, new job, trip to Liverpool, friendships, moving, sports, fandom, flat...
It would be nice if I could at least manage to write about two of them this time around.

We'll see what happens, but the next entries better be less disjointed.

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location: Hatfield, Hertfordshire
Mood: exanimate

I'm actually pretty busy, but I'm also sulking because that's me:

and I don't want to update until I'm allowed to call myself Dr. Ridicully.

*sulks some more*

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location: Berlin for now
Mood: manic

Got told yesterday that I'm supposed to defend until next Friday.
Got Prof. Blub out of the way this morning. Of the other two, one is in the US for the next two weeks and the other one is willing to examine me at pretty much any date I give him.
If the US guy would give me a date so I can arrange for flights, phone-conferences and everything else I'd be happy. What do you mean, it's not yet 9 am where he is? Answer me.
Did I mention next week is a work week for me? And I already have to fly here for one day for a wedding?
Oh hell. Don't expect coherence from me for the next while. (As if you ever would)

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Mood: amused

Did I mention I'm in England, working, this week?
I braved a pub to watch the game with some colleagues.

I couldn't help myself but explain about the Wembley goal after that one goal wasn't given. But I'm happy they scored some more afterwards, because winning only on that one would have been bad.
We did sneak out quietly ten minutes before the end as not to encounter a lynchmob.

No, I don't really care for football, but during the world cup the atmosphere of watching it public is really quite nice.

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Mood: rambling

First of all, thanks to everyone who had kind words about my cat keeling over dead. I really appreciated them, even though I still don't know how to answer them.

On that point I still don't know what caused her death. Pathologists say completely healthy cat. Just dead. Weird.
Anyway. Apart from the fact that I just didn't know what kind of entry to write to follow up on that one, I have been busy turning in my dissertation (waiting for the defense now and working on the publication I need to finish before being allowed to print the thing), getting all my stuff out of my flat and into storage/my parents' basement, finding a job and organizing a move to another country with all the paperwork that entails.
Still not finished on that last point but getting there.
Had an interview to apply for a NI number this morning. They'll answer at some point in the next six weeks. I wouldn't mind so much (even though I called them three weeks before I started work and they told me to wait until I was in the UK before setting up an interview...) but without some kind of official letter sent to my address I can't open a bank account. And without a NI number I can't complete my employment forms. Both of which mean no salary until that number is here. Please no to be taking six weeks!

I've been in Essex for the last six days, doing consultations on the weekend to get an idea how things work here and started to work at my proper job (Night Vet) on Monday.
Until now, I feel as if could do the job with my hands tied behind my back. We'll see how that looks at the end of this week or in a month...

Since I work on a one week on, one week off schedule, next week I fly back to Frankfurt, put all my stuff that's at my parents in a rental van, drive to Berlin to get all my stuff from storage in the van as well, drive to Holland, get on a ferry to Harwich, drive to Hertfordshire, get the keys to my flat, empty the van, drive back to Harwich, ferry to Holland and drive back to Frankfurt.
All that in less than 72 hours. Sounds like great fun, right?

After that I have two days to get from Frankfurt to Berlin, since my flight back to England leaves from there. Then it's one week of work again. Three days of trying to get the flat into some semblance of order. And then four days of a conference in Cambridge. Then back to work. And so on.

Did I mention that my best friend is getting married in the beginning of July. In Berlin? I see lots of flights and rental cars in my future.

@dirtyzucchini: I'd actually love to see the Mika DVD I've just been ... busy. Since I'll probably be in Berlin at least once a month for the foreseeable future, maybe we can still find a time to watch it together. Otherwise I might have to borrow it from you :)

Ok, now to get this posted before another day passes.
I've actually been aiming for rambling infodump with this one, so this is one goal achieved...

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Just when you think you have dealt with a pretty bad day and can now relax and hope tomorrow will be better, your cat falls of the scratching post and is dead.

Now that? Was unexpected.

*is flabbergasted some more*

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location: Berlin, Germany
Mood: amused

At work, we go through a lot of scrubs in a day. And white coats. And lots of other items of clothing.
When I say a lot, I mean a lot. Over 20 vets, about 15 nurses, 8 to 10 students and the occasional volunteer get bleed, shit, drooled, pissed, vomited and shed on. Ultrasound gel, disinfectant and plain dirt are also in abundance. On a bad day, I could change four to five times.

Now imagine the fun times it brings when we run out of clean clothes because our laundry firm is going bankrupt/on strike/lazy/whatever.

If you're expecting to wear scrubs the whole day, you generally don't put much thought in what you wear below.
I'm certainly not the fashion police, but that were some really strange looks today. Sadly, tomorrow everyone will be better prepared.

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Mood: determined

For reasons I've not yet ascertained my life is one panic-inducing thing after the other right now. After the 'waiting for reply on application' panic, follows the 'omfg interview' panic, which will in turn be followed by the 'waiting for an answer again' panic.
Sprinkle a bit of 'thesis nearly ready to be officially turned in' panic and the following 'waiting for defence' panic and once I've reached the defence date (I can't quite believe I ever will) I'm not quite sure I'll able to panic any more.

*Is determinedly not thinking about leaving her friends and instead concentrating on making contingency plans*

comments on the original post. See http://ridicully.dreamwidth.org/248253.html to comment.

I am not actively superstitious, but I tend to get very quiet about my plans once I'm waiting for answers. Talking - or even thinking - about them, makes my brain run in circles. And once that happens, I'm no use to anyone.
Being disappointed or actively panicking is much more my thing. At least I can *do* something then.

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location: Berlin again
Mood: cheerful

So, everyone told us we were lunatics to go camping in the cold. And you know what? They didn't even come close to the real problem. The problem lies in skiing for hours with a rucksack (and kind of getting lost for a while) and then realizing that no matter the cold, if you sleep on the floor with your muscles aching like this, you'll not be able to get up in the morning, let alone move.

Hence us skipping the camping bit. Which annoys my inner child a little bit ("But I WANT to") but is really the most reasonable decision. Especially since colleague M is the one of us both who will freeze more easily and I have to consider that as well. I don't want my go-to-guy for crazy stuff like this to come to harm after all *g*.

No matter, I still loved every second of the whole thing. Even when we got lost and realized that we were actually walking through a bit of swamp. Which was barely frozen over. In the dark.

I need to do something like that again soon!

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• I've just peeled myself out of 8 layers of clothing (not counting underwear. And to be completely truthful, it were only 8 layers on the top, the legs had to make do with just three).
• My backpack still fitted.
• I could move. Somehow.

Tomorrow can come.

Colleague M and I intend to go ski touring and camping in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern for the weekend.
Yes, we're crazy. No, that won't stop us.

One of the universal problems of life:

How do you write a letter of intent without sounding like a pompous arse?

Mood: contemplative

After the first day of the new year is nearly over, even I do manage to wish everyone a Happy New Year!

I spent the day mostly with sleeping, taking a walk in the snow (OMG so much snow) and catching up on my circle and flist.
Quite lazy, but I like lazy occasionally.

New years resolutions are not really my thing, but I noticed some time ago when searching something on my LJ, that somehow I managed to write entries that were, while certainly not riveting masterpieces of literature, certainly easy enough to read. And amazingly enough, rereading them can be even fun, and brings back memories. So, my kind of new years resolution is this: Write more entries like that again, not only manic-panicy braindumps. Though these have their place of course, this is after all a LJ DW-journal-thingy.

New Years Eve I spent first with J., her boything and a few friends, and afterward, when they and the others wanted to go to the Brandenburger Tor for the fireworks, with my second main group of friends - aka my colleagues. That part was spent mostly sulking. Because, while I'm mostly over The Crush, having one of my best friends decide that spending what's probably my last New Year in Berlin with us would be too much of a bother (no, he didn't have better plans as far as I know) annoyed me.
I'm not one for big parties myself, but how hard can sitting around eating and talking until midnight and then excusing yourself early (as I did) really be? Idiot.
Oh well, I got over it as usual.

Starting tomorrow, I have a lot of things to do before I have the night shift again on Sunday. So I better end this now and prepare the picspam I've been planning on for some time.
Also, I still have the newest Doctor Who to watch, just to see for myself how bad it really is.

Mood: crazy

I'm at my parents. Arrived on one of the last flights before they decided to shut down Europe's second largest airport because of the weather.
I wasn't very happy about my flight being delayed about 1.5 hours when I had a friend drop me off at 2:30am, because waiting for 5:30 at the airport wouldn't be as bad as getting up at 3:30 to go there, anyway.

Aside from the usual craziness, my family is grumpy that I leave again very early on the 25th even though I've told them about that before I even booked my flights. But that's just how my family works.
I'm quite happy with only four days here. I love my family very much. I just can't stand all of them for very long. I *like* living on my own.

Seeing how I have to work the night shifts on the 26th and 27th and promised M and F to help them (day shift on the 25th and night shift on the 25th respectively) I don't see much relaxation in the next few days.
And I could need some. I'm going slowly mad here (well, mad-er). I'm fed up with my job, I want to work in the UK next, but I've not yet made any more concrete plans. And that's not good for my 'need to plan everything carefully' mind.
Also, I want to apply in London. Question is, do I go for the 'completely unattainable and no-way I'll get it' job, or the 'chances are still slim, but it might just work' job? Just to make it clear, the point is not to get a job as a vet in the UK, that, I'm pretty sure, even I can manage. The question is, do I make the my falling down on my face as spectacular as possible before settling for something passable or do I only stretch a bit and see if I can reach?
Applying for both is not really an option, getting even two references will be a bit of a problem, thanks to Prof. Blub's insanity.

And since this is going round and 'round and 'round in my brain while I'm in a babbling mood anyway, you get an entry that even I am not quite sure what it's about.

I'm thinking about telling my landlord I'm moving out of this flat at the end of March. Not because I've already found a job or new place to live, but because I think it will give me the kick I need to stop talking and start changing things.

I'll post more about my plans - or at all - once I've stopped freaking out.

I just love Merlin.

I don't know how to describe this week's episode but SQUEEEEE!
I've never been very coherent but this is an all time low. And I don't care. My love and squee aren't rational. They just are *g*

Need more Merlin icons. Also need to make a Waily!Feegle icon. Most of all need to talk normal again.

I don't know if short and superficial posts are better than no posts at all, but since they're the best I can manage, the question really is irrelevant.

Anyway, even though I live in a cave and didn't realize it was time for another episode of Doctor Who already, I really liked Waters of Mars once I noticed (because my circle started raving) and downloaded it.

I always like the Doctor's exuberance, even when it has a more than manic note in it.
And the drama was good drama.

Talking about it without a cut isn't going so well, but I'm too tired busy lazy to look up if I remember the code correctly, so 'I liked it. I *really* liked it' will have to do.

And now that I've posted the entry before I meant to, I'll wander off and search for new icons, because I've been feeling like it.

location: Berlin, Germany
Mood: amused

I started the first weekend in a month that I did not have to drive 300+km somewhere with sleeping 18 hours.
That's what you get after working the day and the night shift at the clinic and than half a day at a congress as well. Would have been a whole day at the congress but Mme Organizer was everything but and won't notice I wasn't there the afternoon, seeing how she didn't know what I should do over 90% of the time I was there.

I plan to spend the weekend with lots of Criminal Minds, Merlin and other fanish things.
I'm also supposed to meet M. to advise him on which media server and associated appliances to buy.
Maybe the weekend will also include a useful entry here. Stranger things have happened.

Off to be busy!

Mood: drained

I've driven over 1500km in the last 60 hours. I've seen over 2 hours of vids. I've met new and old people. I've listened to one CD on repeat for the last 10 hours.
I've had lots of fun - but no internet for two days.
My brain needs to settle before I can write a more coherent entry.

Mood: exhausted

Tomorrow I'm going to be so dead. But at least nearly all of the contents of the flat have been relocated. Not my desk or computer, obviously, since the date for the transfer of phone and 'net depends on the Telecom. I'm pretty sure anyone who's ever dealt with the pink T feels my pain.

Moving all the stuff proved to be relatively easy, partly because all of us have moved before and by now know the routine, partly because we actually had help.
One of these helpers (a colleague of J.'s boything) was an annoyance to me for some time, until he got it into his head that his attempts to stop me from carrying heavy stuff because I happen to be female, would only lead to him getting his head bitten of by me while I was carrying said heavy stuff. Moron. I didn't have male help at any of my previous moves and who did he think carried that washer, dishwasher and huge fridge up to the old flat anyway? J's boything on his own? Idiot.

J.'s boything is of a more ... traditional mindset and background than me or even J, so this happens occasionally. I think I might need to put a sign around my neck when meeting people via him. "I'm Alex. I'm strange. I'll probably not behave in the way you're used to. Your assumptions are not my problem. Just deal with it. Thanks."

Now, bed. While all the furniture is more or less where it's supposed to go, there are still lots of boxes to unpack. There'll probably be pictures at some point.

Entry at my current main journal

Mood: cheerful

While, Dumbledore being gay is cool on a number of levels, not the last of which is the fact how much everyone is freaking out about it, the quote that made me laugh the most from that interview is this one:

Q: In the Goblet of Fire Dumbledore said his brother was prosecuted for practicing inappropriate charms [JKR buries her head, to laughter] on a goat; what were the inappropriate charms he was practicing on that goat?

JKR: How old are you?

Eight.

JKR: I think that he was trying to make a goat that was easy to keep clean [laughter], curly horns. That's a joke that works on a couple of levels. I really like Aberforth and his goats. But you know Aberforth having this strange fondness for goats if you've read book seven, came in really useful to Harry, later on, because a goat, a stag, you know. If you're a stupid Death Eater, what's the difference. So, that is my answer to YOU.

Entry at my current main journal

Having just been foiled in my attempts to celebrate our national holiday in a different way than usual, because they've closed off most of the Tiergarten because of overcrowding (at least according to the announcements on the S-Bahn) , I've decided to fall back on my usual behaviour: Lazing around at home.

Of course this will result in the usual temporal disorientation that tends to follow holidays in the middle of the week. But as I have to work the weekend this shouldn't matter too much in the end.

And only part of the work on the weekend will be the shift of emergency vet (sorry, I don't think I'll get tired of calling myself that anytime soon, we get little enough of respect from the bosses and the clients, I sometimes need to use big words to describe my job at least here), the other part will be helping out with the organization of the next continuing education module (big words again. We're required to help with the refreshments and the cleaning. But we get to sit in on the lectures as well). On dermatology of all thing. I foresee a lot of psychosomatic scratching in my future.

Entry at my current main journal

Dear self,

your life isn't like juggling. When juggling you have a very narrow window in which to catch the object and restart it. If you miss the window, things are going to collide in mid-air. Or, you have to do the picking-balls-up-with-your-fee-while-still-keeping-the-rest-in-the-air thing - a trick you never managed to learn, if I may remind you.

Plate spinning is a much more accurate description of your life. You've got everything up there on the poles, spinning away, and only need to give each object just enough attention at just the right time.

It also has the potential to look truly spectacular when it fails.

It would be great if you would keep that in mind for the future.

P.S. You also overthink metaphors

Entry at my current main journal

Mood: contemplative

It's funny to observe the mannerisms one develops over time.
For example, after euthanizing an animal, I do the usual listening for any remaining heartbeat and then I tend to reach up to the eyes as if to close them.
Some of my colleagues do the same, others earnestly shake their heads or turn away.
But all of us recognize the need to somehow acknowledge the fact that's pretty much obvious. And not only for the owners sake.

Entry at my current main journal

Mood: busy

My life right now feels like juggling. Not the kind of juggling when you've practiced enough to know what you're doing and the balls (or clubs or torches) are just falling exactly the way you want them to, you know where they are going to come down and you catch them easily, but the way you start out. Struggling to catch every measly ball befor it goes too far down for you to reach it, requiring more exertion, more uncontrolled movement, it looks silly and you never feel in control.

Regular work, the emergency shifts, my dissertation and the tests I need to run for it, finding a new flat, my flist, the Stupid Crush (it's gained capital letters of woe, because OMG how old am I body, 14?) that's blocking brain cells I desperately need (I need to be carful about mentioning that anyway, I get enough teasing without trimethoprim quoting something I said here.), schools, translation, visiting friends, the website I've promised people at work I'd get working soon, visiting family, J.'s boything moving in, articles for our journal clubs,...
And that's before the new seasons start on tv.

It's not that I'm unhappy, there's just so much happening that I'd quite like to stop time for a few days to work on everything I need and want to get done.

Entry at my current main journal

Mood: quixotic

If I hadn't already been looking for a practical way to back up my photos, I would be doing so now.

*starts to sort the 17110 recovered pictures*

Entry at my current main journal

I love my job. I really do. It just sometimes makes it hard to talk to normal people.

Because, no matter how you try to explain it, the fact that I got bitten in the face by a dog this morning at around 8:30 and only left work just now to see a doctor, makes people shake their heads. (Actually, I didn't intent to see a doctor at all, but my jaw has swollen up more than I consider normal for bites. And I'd like some official note for documentation purposes.)

Anyway, one more piece of evidence in my theory that James Harriot's books were originally called "All Creatures Great and Small - And How They've Tried To Kill Me".

ETA: Of course today had to be Wednesday. The day on which most doctors in Germany only see patients in the mornings. After four fruitles tries, I ended up in the ER, feeling more than just a bit silly.
Since I really didn't think I needed to wait for the surgeon to look at me and my question of which of two antibiotics would be better to use was answered by some intern or student with "Oh, as long as you're vaccinated there should be no problem at all" (which, as much as I am a fan of vaccinations, is plain silly when asked after antibiotics), I've decided to just treat this myself, the same way I would a bite in a dog. It's not my first bite after all, just the fact that it's in the face is what's making me worry more than usual.

Entry at my current main journal

Mood: contemplative

Since I'm quietly obsessed with history and It's one of the days where it's allowed to be maudlin.
Driving through Berlin always is an interesting experience (apart from the fact that *no one here knows how to drive*, I mean). You get used to seeing solitary bits of wall standing around and don't really think about what the double row of cobblestones means. It's what you do, in cities where nearly every second building has some historic significance. Otherwise you'd just spent the whole time thinking about history and not getting anything done. (Of course I'm probably giving the general population to much credit. Did I mention that I'm getting more cynical every day?)
It's just on days like this that you realize, that for a long time my life, (Born in Frankfurt, grew up around there as well, went to uni in Leipzig, live in Berlin (Steglitz) now and, for this week at last, work in Berlin (Pankow)) was not something that happened every day.

46 years doesn't seem all that long ago. But then, neither does 18.

Entry at my current main journal

Mood: harried

J. (the flatmate) is pissed at me because she took the job as a substitute vet in a small practice for two weeks on the provision that I was going to be there, helping her. And because of the way the clinic is set up an the extreme unhelpfulness of a few of my colleagues, promising me to switch shifts and then not doing so, I couldn't help her today and can't tomorrow.
I have the whole next week off, so next week won't be a problem, but today and tomorrow she was/is on her own.
It's her first time working as a vet on her own since the board exams more than a year ago. She knows all her stuff, but is just nervous. I get this. But I also can't tell my boss "I can't, I'm busy tomorrow" when he tells me I'm to be responsible for the anaesthesia during the thoracotomy tomorrow (giving the sad state of our anaesthesia department - which is shameful for an university clinic - I'm normally jumping on any chance to improve it anyway, but a direct order is even harder to ignore).
And she is freaked out by a few mishaps that happened today and I'm the one to take the blame for that. Which I don't mind. But I also don't know how to react. So I just don't, but sit and listen to her rant when she comes out of her room to do so.

As a show of my total failure in personal interaction, the only thing I could think of to apologize was to buy food I know she likes and stick it in the fridge with post it notes on it. Oh. And I think I said "I'm sorry" at some point.
Otherwise I intend to just weather it out.
Does this count as another point of failure of acting like a proper female yet?

Entry at my current main journal

I come back from a weekend in the Harz (entry to follow) to find out fandom exploded again.

I've got it easy, I'm about as creative as a brick and my involvement in fandom is very passive, but for the record:

I read porn. Some of this porn involves underaged characters. I look at drawings and photomanips of the same. I will continue to do so. I also will continue to know the difference between fiction and reality. (Also, though this should not matter, I will continue to read/look at this stuff for other reasons than finding underaged characters exciting.)

I don't think LJ/6A's actions are guided by wanting to prosecute fandom. I think this probably sums up their reasoning pretty well. I don't know if the laws she cites are completely correct, but I don't think it matters for the argument.

Would I wish for LJ/6A to take a stand and allow all content? I do. Can I understand why they don't? Oh yes.

Would nice and clear guidelines on what's allowed be nice? Sure. Do I think they are as easy to give as people seem to think? No.

Do I think that friends-lock and common sense should help to avoid lots of problems? Yes. Will I kick myself really hard if this turns out to be wrong? Most likely.

Since I'm very territorial about my screen-name, I've long ago name squatted it on most of the LJ-clone sites. But for the moment, I'm very likely to stay here.

Now, back to the flist and my photos.